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Sadness

What makes someone take their own life?

I've known several people who have over the last few years, including an ex-boyfriend who struggled with alcoholism most of his life. It was sad to hear, but not shocking. However, this weekend's loss was a shocking one. My sister, Lin, called in tears yesterday evening to tell me that she was waiting at the video store for our other sis. Turns out a detective had been calling all day, trying to locate the district manager, about an employee at the Braker location. The detective never said who he was calling in reference to.

Come to find out, Stu had taken his own life on Friday night. He had called Lin and said he wasn't feeling well earlier in the day- they had gotten to be very good friends when he was her assistant manager before she moved to the 360 location. She told him he could call in, but apparently he didn't and worked anyway. He closed down the store on Friday, and Saturday morning his roommate found him. He left a note- apparently not dealing well with a breakup we weren't aware of.

So sad- Stu was an all-around good guy, and I enjoyed having him on our SXSW crew last year. He had a future in filmmaking, and loved movies. He had moved here from California about two years ago in order to help his girlfriend get through school. She'd been having trouble getting into nursing school, and I think it took its toll on their relationship. I am still in shock that he didn't reach out, and is gone so suddenly.

Luckily, Jenn has been interning with Travis County Deputy Sheriff's Dept as a crisis counselor, and goes out on calls to assist with family and friends of victims. She picked Linda up and is staying with her today, and thankfully Dad was coming in today so he'll be here as well.

And so life goes on...I am saddened, but I've cried so many tears over the last couple years for friends and family lost, I've toughened up just enough not to sit at home in my own grief. With experience I've learned that people can't be helped if they don't want help, whether it be my uncle dying from lung cancer after decades of smoking or a friend who takes his own life.

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Comments

( 3 comments — Leave a comment )
jbluemoon
May. 1st, 2005 07:17 pm (UTC)
condolences
I'm am very sorry for your loss.
lucky_mcgee
May. 1st, 2005 08:51 pm (UTC)
Suicide has touched my life way too many times. And I still don't understand it. I don't think I ever will.

I'm sending thoughts of peace your way.
decibel45
May. 2nd, 2005 03:30 am (UTC)
Sorry I couldn't really talk about it when I called today. I'm really glad to hear that you've got good ways to cope with it. Please pass my condolances on to Linda.
( 3 comments — Leave a comment )